I'm out of gas

I know I know... I have so been slipping lately when it comes to posting. I have had so much to say but not enough words to express it all. I have been so full yet so empty at the same time. How can one explain that phenomena. Is there a word for it? Maybe I'll call it running on fumes. Have you ever driven you car until the gas light come on and for whatever reason it may be; out of money waiting for the next paycheck, no time, trying to push it as far as you can possibly go.... Whatever it is you find yourself driving on fumes. You see and hear that constant reminder that you need to fill up soon but you ignore it and keep going.

    What you don't realize or consider that this constant blatant ignoring of your vehicles needs will eventually cause engine failure or other premature problems that will end up costing more to fix than it would have just to stop and get a fill up. As it is in the natural it is in the spiritual. How many times have you continued to run on fumes. You are so busy pleasing everyone else, making everyone happy, working in the vineyard, taking care of your family, Sallie Mae and Bank of America. But, you are empty. Your life is so full with stuff but you are alone and vacant. Eventually, you get to the point where reading the Word is not enough to fill you up anymore. You have ran on fumes for so long that your body is at the point of breaking down.

    Like your car God keeps giving you the warning signs that you are about to have a break down, a equipment malfunction but you just keep on running. I was blessed by a good friend this morning after telling her about how I have been feeling lately in regards to my career and the unattained goals in my life. Godly wisdom spoke through her and she shared with me 1 Peter 5:10 says "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you." Wow! You can't tell me that my God is not a god of Order. Everything has its own appointed time and end. So I am suffering right now but right around the corner will be my restoration. So God is going to fill me up where I am empty, he is going to fix what is broken and buff out all of the rough spots so that I can shine like new again. After that He is going to confirm. Everything that God has spoken over your life directly and through others SHALL COME TO PASS.

      Confirmation comes in many ways. You could have visions or dreams of the word manifesting itself, you could be at church and the pastor indirectly confirms what God is telling you through the sermon, you could all of a sudden feel some agitation in your current situation...STOP RIGHT THERE..THAT'S ME THAT'S ME LORD. Confirmation sometimes comes to make you uncomfortable and uneasy. Think about it. When you become comfortable you become complacent, lazy, uninspired, unwavering, unmovable, no earthly good and no kingdom purpose. We should always strive to go higher than the highest heights because that is what God promised us. If we serve a God that can do ANYTHING and that has given us the POWER to soar higher than an eagle why are you comfortable being a Pigeon? God is the agitation cycle in the washing machine. In order for us to be clean and usable he has to agitate the water, spin us around, squeeze the dirt and grime out of us, mix us with like minded people(Clothes) with the same mission and purpose. But, when we are done we smell like the freshness of his morning dew of glory.

          I will touch on the other two points tomorrow because I know its all a lot to process.But, just know and I am speaking to whoever is currently feeling the agitation and that includes me. The rinse cycle is on the way. God is going to rinse away all of the pain, hurt, disappointment, broken promises, lost dreams, despair, wall blocks, times of emptiness, sadness, insufficiency,in ability to grow, comfortable, complacent, bored, longing for better, hurting for anointing,misunderstood, misappropriated and missed blessings. All of it shall wash away. You will be full again!!!

     Stop running on those old fumes that are choking your anointed potential and get your fill up today.

That's my confession! What's yours?

Happy Leap Day!

    Well today is February 29th!!!! Happy Leap Day one and all. Why is this day so special you might ask. Well maybe because it only comes once every 4 years. I remember meeting a girl when I was younger and she told me she was 4 years old. A look of confusion and disbelief quickly crossed my face. "How can that be?'', I asked " You are 16 stop lying". She calmly explained to me that she was born on February 29th so her actually birthday only comes every 4 years.

     What if you had to wait 4 years at a time for something major to happen in your life. Imagine if you will God put it on His calendar that all of His blessings would only be deposited on February 29th. So every February 28th you think about all that you could have had, could have done and could have been. You pray that you will even live to see the next 4 years. If you lived to be as old as my grandmother which is almost 89 years you would have only been blessed a total of 22 times in your entire life. Aren't you glad though that God's mercies are new EVERY morning.Thats 365 blessings a year and guess what this year you get an extra blessing. You don't have to wait 4 years to thank and praise him. You can go ahead and shout NOW!
      So my question to all of you today is what on this Leap Day are you going to leap into? What new adventures are you going to seek, what new ideas are you going to implement, what new anointings are you going to tap into, what new realtionships are you going to start or mend. Why put off for tomorrow what you can Leap into today. Don't wait another 4 years to take that first step. For it may never come, but God is here now waiting for you to leap into his arms and let him lead the way to your destiny.

That's my confession! Whats yours?

Just one of those days

     Have you ever had "Just one of those days"? Monica used to sing about them and so did The Shirelles.

I know I am slipping and I missed my blog for yesterday. But, anyone that works or has ever worked in the field of Mental Health can understand that some days your mind just goes loopy. So enough about all of that. I was thinking last night to myself , well actually it was around 3:45 this morning as my little sweet angel, prince of a boy woke me up demanding that I feed him like Audrey II. Anyway, after I put him to sleep I started to think about it.We always say we envy babies because they have someone always doing things for them. But imagine if you had no control over anything in your life. Babies can't chose who their parents are, good or bad, where they will live decent or nasty, what they will eat or how long they will sleep. Strangers constantly touching and probing them and constantly in their faces. They are so trusting and so dependant on someone else to do everything for them that when they discover that they can do something for themselves they never turn back.
          Imagine if you will our lives were like that now. If every move that we made, everything that we ate, every decision was made for us. As we come to a close of Black History Month 2012 I want us to remember that it wasn't the Emancipation Proclamation that gave us our freedom but it was God. The Bible says " Whom the Son set free, is free indeed." When Christ died on the cross He freed us from the bondage that had us enslaved and controlled us. The problem is some of us are still enslaved in our minds. We are controlled by our thoughts, our feelings, the world around us. The soul is in the mind. As we think that we shall be. Free your mind today and you would be surprised all the places you will go, all the things you are capable of doing and all of the life you have missed out on.
    SO now that you know that you are free "ACT LIKE IT"

That's my confession! What's yours?

Jesus Snack Friday #1

So this is the first Jesus Snack Friday! I know you may be wondering where I came up with that name and it was my husband. Remember when Jesus fed the multitude with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. Well that was the first church fish fry in history. Fish sandwiches for everybody. Lol
So today I want to give you just a little something to feed your soul. So here is my thought for today.
How many blessings have you blocked because of pride? Allowing the trauma of your past to decrease the increase of your future. I'm guilty as charged. Who have you refused in the last 30 days from helping you? Their blessing is attached to their giving.
Trade your pride for a thank you and a smile.
That's your snack for today... Pick it up!

Learning to be selfish

       Any new mother knows that at the time you hear that very first heartbeat, feel that first kick or see that first blob picture that they claim is your baby, your life changes forever. I remember the day that I found out that I was pregnant with Quinton. My first and my only. I said that I would get that pee pee cup and test dipped in gold to commemorate what I had accomplished. See, I never take conception for granted. I know that it is truly a miracle from God and just because both of us have organs there is no guarantee that it will happen. I think we as believers think the same thing. We want results but we don't want to put the work in necessary to make sure that it comes to pass. And we definitely don't want to go through the labor and pain that it will take to birth it. But, thats another topic for another time.

      Back to Quinton. I spent my whole pregnancy making sure I ate the right things that he liked if not I suffered the consequences. I slept in uncomfortable positions just so that he wouldn't attack me in the middle of the night. I sacrificed my sleep, my patience, my time, my beauty, my waistline even my relationship with others including my husband because I put him first. I felt that if God blessed me with this precious gift I needed to do everything I could to nurture it and make sure he would turn out as perfect as God planned.  So, I planned everything, down to the birth based on the books I had read and people I had talked to. Everyone tells you how important it is to do whats best for baby even when its inconvenient. Well, we all know when we plan, God laughs. All of my planning and preparations fell off of that proverbial cliff.

      In the end I was left with scars that remind me everyday that God is still in control and that no matter how it may seem He will always make every situation for your good. So 5 months, 1 week and 5 days later I am still putting him first. I am still making those sacrifices just to see the smile on his little face. Trust me that face is to die for. But it just hit me this week that it has been a long time since I have done anything for ME. I have been putting ministry first, family first, job first, everybody and their bald headed cousins first but Mia she has fallen over that same cliff with my plans. Am I wrong? I think so and Ill tell you why. The Greatest Commandment according to Jesus Christ himself is found in Mark 12:28-31 The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”

     Wait, so what you are saying Jesus is that I am to love my neighbor as myself... but if I neglect loving myself how can I truly love my neighbor? I had to realise that I am living a lie if I say that I love everyone else and I don't take the time to take care of me. Think about it. When you neglect yourself your outer appearance suffers so people are afraid to approach you, your emotional well being suffers so people are afraid to talk to you and your spirit suffers so praying fervently for someone else and truly believing it is out of the question. So if everyone is afraid of you how are you loving them?

      SO WE MUST LEARN TO BE SELFISH! Take the time to invest in YOU! Its not all about spending money or shopping although those things are quite fun. What it is about is spending sometime making sure that you are your best self physically, emotionally and spiritually. Remember that you are a direct reflection of the kingdom. Last time I checked the kingdom doesn't look like downtown Baltimore. No offense but hey I'm from there lol. The kingdom is not dusty, full of depressed people,no direction, no hope, tripping over rats the size of most cats. The Kingdom of God is a land of many mansions, filled with milk and honey, streets of gold, rejoicing, and trees dripping with glory and favor. So I'm going to learn to be selfish and believe that in my selfishness I will be blessing my neighbors. For truly the greatest of these things is Love so I need to learn love ME!

That's my confession! What's yours?

Are you ashy too?

                Today is the day known in the Christian community as Ash Wednesday. No that does not mean a day for you to skip out on Jergens or cocoa butter and Vaseline. In fact please slather it on my friend it's cold out there. Ash Wednesday is the start of the Lenten season. It is the day after Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday when traditionally we all get everything out of our system so that during this time we will be able to focus on God, His son Jesus Christ and the ultimate sacrifices that were made for our sins. Traditionally Christians attend services to confess their sins, have communion and ashes placed upon their heads as a sign of reverence and solemn reflection. Usually part of their confession is a statement of sacrifice or something that they chose to give up during this 40 day and night period of time. Some give up sweets, smoking, profanity, sex and others fast. During the days to come they pray fervently and trust God that they will come out on the other side better than they were before and more thankful of what Christ did for us.
           Now that I explained all of that my initial question was are you ashy too! What are ashes? And what does it mean to be ashy? Ashes are the remnants of something that was burned. It could be paper or wood or even human ashes. In biblical times people would offer up burnt sacrifices to the Lord when they wanted blessings or forgiveness. The ashes were a telltale sign of that sacrifice. In some cases people that grieved would cover their heads with ashes as a sign of morning. But if you think about it, ashes are the burning away of life. Let's look at this another way. When we typically burn trash we are making room for more trash and cleaning that which causes clutter and confusion in our homes. As it it is in the natural it is also in the spiritual. We all have something that we need to burn off of ourselves that is holding us back from a supernatural blessing and breakthrough. Whatever your vices may be is between you and God. But He is giving us time to burn it all off so that the remnant or the remembrance of them is in such a small quantity that it can just blow away with the wind.

            What are you saying preacher? Well here I go! The things that we carry seem so great and the burden is so heavy that it forces us to miss out on the very will of God. We are so busy looking down because of shame and worry and heaviness that we walk right past our blessings several times and cant see them. When God burns those things off of us suddenly what seemed so big becomes nothing more than ashes that become so light one blow will scatter them away. We are then able to walk straight up nd face the world with no shame knowing that right around the next corner is my blessing and this time nothing is going to stop me from getting it. Nothing should separate us from the love and blessings of God. Not death nor life, nor principalities or strongholds, nor burdens or pains, nor heartaches or sorrows, nor addictions or regrets. I'm on fire now so let me wrap this up.

           Once something becomes ashes it can never recover its original form. Therefore, those ashes of your past can never overtake you again because they longer exist. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Don't you feel lighter already? So this Lenten season let God do what He does best like only He can. He sacrificed His son for us to live why not sacrifice your strongholds so that you can have that life more abundantly. Trust me you won't even miss it when it's gone. But you have to be willing to go through the fire and the pressure to get it. But guess what the secret to all of it is? On the other side you will shine like gold and be stronger than diamond. So I chose to be ashy and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. Because I know if it wasn't for my ashes I can not be set free.

That's my confession! What's yours?

Who Am I?

At 29 I really thought I was too old to fall for peer pressure. Guess not. After much prodding and convincing from my friends I have decided to create my own blog. Who came up with that term blog? Doesn't it sound like a nasty disease that one may get in the jungle somewhere. I digress my mommy brain has taken over. I was supposed to tell you who I am. Well I was born by a river in a little tent....no not really.
     I don't want to give you my who biography that you can read for yourself. The question was Who Am I? Well I think that is a question that I can not completely answer. I believe that everyday we reinvent ourselves and become new persons. There maybe some residue of the old left behind but as we grow each day and as we get older every second I believe that who we are changes too. So what causes this change? I could get all philosophical, psychological and theological on you but I won't. I will simply answer this question with one word. Life! Every second we encounter something new and fresh that we have never seen or experienced before.
The Bible speaks of this in Lamentations 3:22-24 when Jeremiah said :
Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassion's fail not.
²³They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
²⁴ “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

      What does this mean preacher? I so glad you asked. IT means that every morning that we wake up despite what we did the day before, the night before, some of us 2 minutes before we were not consumed or killed by it. Because of the Grace and Mercy of God we have another day, another chance, another opportunity to get it together and try again. So our every being is dependant upon the Lord. He is our identity therefore who we are is directly connected to who He is. I'm not going to preach today but I need you to ask yourself Who Am I and then Who is He to Me?
    Is He a good friend? Then you can be also. Is He a father when you need one? Then there is no excuse why you can't be too? Is He a comfort and healer? By the Grace of God you can be also.

So Who Am I? I am EVERYTHING that God has called me to be a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a cousin, a preacher I AM A BELIEVER!!!!!

This is my confession! What's yours?